1.Down In The Street Below
Press the doorbell and push the door
Climb the darkened stairwell to the second floor
She'll be waiting for you in her dressing-gown
With the drink she poured you when she heard the sound
Watch the film, eat the food she cooked
Talk of how the film ain't half as good as the book
Kiss her sleepy eyes closed and say 'it's time'
To slip beneath the shadows of the bedroom blinds
Well it's always a pleasure and never a chore
But you just don't know whether you're doing it for the right
reasons
It's cold for the season down in the street below
Men and women go about their business
Picking up the last few things for Christmas
Trying not to step upon the pigeons
Praying to the gods of their religions
That they might be spared a little longer
That they might become a little stronger
Down in the street below
Everybody's on a secret mission
Everybody's got their own ambitions
They would tell you if they thought you'd listen
They would say how lately they've been wishing
For the chance to meet a handsome stranger
Lead a life of elegance and danger
Down in the street below
Down in the street below
Way up high in a phallic tower
You're swimming in a tiny galaxy of stars
Knocking back mojitos at the cocktail bar
Talking 'bout burritos and conceptual art
Your armchair's round and your glass is square
The clientele's straight out of this month's Vanity Fair
Well look around the place, something's not quite right
Yours is the only face that you don't recognize
Well it's always a pleasure and never a chore
But you just don't know whether you're doing it for the right
reasons
It's cold for the season down in the street below
2.The Complete Banker
Can anyone lend me ten billion quid？＊
Why do you look so glum？ Was it something I did？
So I caused a second great depression, what can I say
I guess I got a bit carried away
If I say I'm sorry will you give me the money？
You know me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Sweet Samantha riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free
The complete banker in my Armani
Before the rancour and disharmony
Well money makes the world go round
And round and down the drain
We went to war on the floor of the exchange
To all of us it was just a big game
But God I loved it, making a profit from somebody's loss
I never knew exactly whose money it was
And I did not care as long as there was lots for me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Sweet Samantha riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free,
The complete banker in my Armani
Before the anger and the inquiries
Well money makes the world go round
And round and down the drain
We'll learn the lessons, run tests and analyse
We'll crunch the numbers cause the numbers never lie
Maybe this recession is a blessing in disguise
We can build a much much bigger bubble the next time
And leave the rest to clean our mess up
Well that's just me
The complete banker in a black Bentley
Margaret Thatcher riding next to me
Oh how I hanker for the good old days
When I was free
I'm the complete banker
I'm a conscience-free malignant cancer on society
And one day you'll let your guard down
And I'll come round again
3.Neapolitan Girl
Through the rubble of the bombed out streets
Through the squalor and the poverty
Walks a proud Neapolitan girl
With a head of thick black curls
She doesn't care 'bout right or wrong
Just about where the next meal's coming from
Innocence can often be
Another one of war's casualties
But innocence can be restored
With a visit to the Professore
For ten thousand lire he
Can find mislaid virginity
His dirty needle leaves a trail of scars
And keeps her at the peak of her sexual powers
She takes him riding on the 133
Through the city to the cemetery
Where the Neapolitan girls go
Down behind the headstones
Oh the quickening breath and muffled cries
As life and death become entwined
Now baby, just pretend you don't see 'em
Lusting in the mausoleum
Lola has a lover in the city bank
And Lola has a lover in the British ranks
Well Lola has them over in the middle of the day
Cause Lola makes the neighbours all jealous that way
She doesn't care 'bout right or wrong
Just about where the next meal's coming from
Neapolitan girl
Neapolitan girl
4.Bang Goes The Knighthood
Out of the station and through the arcade
Past the antique shops of Regent's Parade
To an innocuous London address
A quick glance around and then down the wet steps
God only knows what keeps bringing me here
Gambling with everything that I hold dear
One careless word in establishment ears
And bang goes the knighthood, the wife and career
You make me feel
You make me feel something
And feeling something beats feeling nothing at all
And nothing at all is what I feel all the rest of the time
If someone sees
If someone hears something
I know it's coming, the fear is making me ill
But then fear is part of the thrill
They taught me discipline at boarding school
The consequences of breaking the rules
They said 'we're just being cruel to be kind'
As they beat me to within an inch of my life
So chain me, restrain me and teach me to kneel
Bind me and grind me beneath your high heels
Crack goes the whip, and if someone should tell
Bang goes the knighthood as-well
5.At The Indie Disco
We go down to the indie disco every Thursday night
Dance to our favourite indie hits until the morning light
At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah
We've got a table in the corner that is always ours
Under the poster of Morrissey with a bunch of flowers
We drink and talk about stupid stuff
Then hit the floor for Tainted love
You know I just can't get enough
At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah
Give us some Pixies and some Roses and some Valentines
Give us some Blur, and some Cure, and some Wannadies
And now we're moving to the beat
And staring at each other's feet
I wonder if she fancies me
At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah
And when it's over and I'm freezing on the night bus home
I think of her and I sing the words to my favourite song
She makes my heart beat the same way
As at the start of Blue Monday
Always the last song that they play
At the indie disco, the indie disco, at the indie disco yeah
yeah yeah...
At the indie disco... the indie disco... at the indie disco yeah
6.Have You Ever Been In Love
Have you ever started dancing in the middle of a shopping mall
Have you ever burst out laughing for no reason at all
Have you ever noticed the rhythms in the rain
And have you ever felt the ecstasy of pain
Have you ever been in love
Have you sung along to all the silly love-songs you hate
And have you had to pinch yourself to make sure you're awake
Have you ever felt like you could float into the sky
Like the laws of physics simply don't apply
Have you ever been in love
Have you ever met somebody who could see inside your head
Have you ever been so happy you've lain awake in bed
Have you ever figured out the meaning of life
Just by looking into someone else's eyes
Have you ever been in love
7.Assume The Perpendicular
Slip on your Barber jacket, jump in my old MG
We're off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can see see
see
We don't wanna drink the cider, we don't wanna walk for miles
We just want to go to a stately home built in the Georgian style
I can't abide a horizontal life
It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade
Just for today we're lords and ladies, oh what a gay charade!
Lavinia loves the lintels - Anna, the architraves
Ben's impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel knave
I can't abide a horizontal life
It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make funny little sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
We'll walk the grounds by Capability Brown
Get lost for days inside the manicured maze
We'll bump our heads jumping on a four-post bed
And we'll ride for free
On the ladders round the walls of the circular library
I can't abide a horizontal life
It's time to rise, assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
Nothing in particular
8.The Lost Art Of Conversation
Why all the distance in existence
Join the resistance
Come on, let's start by talking tactics
With pepper-pots and matchsticks
Here's how we practice the lost art of conversation
David Jason - Francis Bacon - Frank Lampard
It's gonna take some concentration
But all the best things do
There's a terrific neolithic tribe in the pacific
They've got no cars, no televisions
No money, no ambitions
Just some pigs and some chickens
And the lost art of conversation
The League of Nations - The English Patient - Joan Of Arc
It's gonna take some imagination
But all the best things do
Don't try this in public or they'll think you've gone insane
And it won't be long before the men in white coats come
To take you far away
We had a comrade, a brave comrade
He could talk for whole days
But then he tried to be a hero
Tried talking 'bout Jean Miro to commuters wearing earphones
He almost die for conversation
Hallucinations - Good Vibrations - Van Dyke Parks
Greyhound racing - Steeple chasing - The Reformation
Transubstantiation - Bram Stoker's creation
The Land of the Thracians, and right back to the start
It's gonna take some time and patience
But all the best things do
Don't try this in public or they'll think you've gone insane
And it won't be long before the men in white coats come
To take you far away, far away
Well here they come
9.Island Life
Washing your face in the morning dew - island life
Gathering wood for the breakfast brew - island life
Watching the waves breaking on the shore
While cormorants circle up high
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
Diving for pearls in the shallow sea - island life
Watching for ships from the tallest tree - island life
We can explore till the sun goes down
Then explore some more when we rise
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
What yesterday was a distant dream
Has now been made real by the night
This is our island life
Sea and sun, earth and sky
Play all day, sleep all night
This is our island life - island life
10.When A Man Cries
When a child cries the tears rise quickly
Spill hot and prickly down the reddened cheeks
Just to leave as quickly as they came
And peace returns again
When a child cries you know about it
They scream and shout until the hurt is gone
Like a shower of rain that for a moment
Hides away the sun
But when a man cries it's choked and throttled
It's all been bottled up for far too long
And when at last the pressure cooker blows
It's hard to stem the flow
When a man cries his body shakes
And his eyeballs ache
And his mind vibrates
But he doesn't make a sound
Don't wanna wake the house now
Well the reasons are vague and hard to put in words
Just a dull abstract ache, don't wanna worry her
She would only ask what's wrong and I'd try to say
Then she'd take all my pain and explain it away
But who can explain why a man cries
When a man cries he cries alone
And for just a moment he's back at home
Cradled in his mother's arms
Free from guilt and safe from harm
11.Can You Stand Upon One Leg
Can you stand upon one leg
It's harder than you think
If you can do it without falling down
You can do just about anything
Go on, see if you can
See how long you can stand on one leg
Can you beat your dad at chess
It's harder than you think
Sit him down at Christmas
Turn the TV off
Give him lots of chocolates and a drink
And he might give you a match
And when you've been duly dispatched he will laugh
Ha ha ha
And you'll say, 'one more game'
Can you write a silly song
It's harder than you think
One that's not too short
One that's not too long
One that can make everybody sing
Go on, give it a try
You might do better than I
It's just like trying to stand on one leg
Tell me can you tell a funny joke
One that makes you laugh out loud
One that makes the milk come out your nose
If you know a funny joke then tell it now
that's not bad, I'm impressed
But there's one final test
Can you hold a singing note for a stupidly long time
Well it's my party piece so let's make it a little harder
By starting it way up high
Come on, give it a go
Let's see how long you can hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooold on to a note!
12.I Like
I like your nose, I like your hair
I like you clothed, I like you bare
I like your boots, your skirts and your blouses
I like your suits, your shirts and your trousers
I like your mild political stances
I like your wild spontaneous dances
I like the way you drive me insane, morning, noon and night
I like you cause you're sexy
I like the sexy things you dress in
I like it when you're sitting next to me whispering sexy things
I like you cause you like me
I like the poems that you write me
I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me
They make me look all right
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like
I like the way you make me laugh
I like your brain, both left and right half
I like the songs you sing when you're bathing
I like your dog when he's behaving
I like your car, you curse like a trooper
During a hard reversing manoeuvre
I like the way we kiss and we make up after a fight
I like you cause you're sexy
I like the sexy things you dress in
I like it when you're sitting next to me texting me sexy things
I like you cause you like me
I like the poems that you write me
I like the pictures that you thoughtfully draw for me
They make me look all right
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like
I like you cause you're crazy
I like the way you do whatever you like
It constantly amazes me, baby please stay with me tonight
Oh yeah, I like, I like, I like
13.Beside the Railway Tracks
I live beside the railway tracks
I can't abide human contact
I watch the trains go back and forth
From north to south, from south to north
Sometimes I catch a fleeting glimpse
A grey moustache, a pale blue rinse
A laughing child, a lovers' kiss
I turn my eyes away from this
I like to watch the usual things
They bring me joys things
To mount of peace and picture frame
I'll finish these and start again
I live beside the railway tracks
I can't abide human contact
I watch the trains go back and forth
From north to south, from south to north
Sometimes I catch a fleeting glimpse
A grey moustache, a pale blue rinse
A laughing child, a lovers' kiss
I turn my eyes away from this
14.Napoleon Complex
(Napole-oleon. Napo-napoleon.)
Who pulls the strings, who makes the deals？
Stands 5 foot 3 in Cuban heels？
Who gets all the girls, then wakes up again？
Who would rule the world, if they only knew his name？
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleo-eo-eo-eon.
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex
Napoleon.
Who was the true inventor of,
The infamous circular firing squad？
Who has all the brains but non of the stature？
Who'd make Margaret Thatcher look like Mary Magdalene？
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleo-eo-eo-eon.
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex
Napoleon.
(Plex. Napole-ole-ole-oleon. Oh you've got to come back to me.
Oh Napoleon. Oh.)
Who patiently awaits the hour？
When he will seize the reigns of power？
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleo-eo-eo-eon.
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex-plex,
Napoleon Complex-plex-plex-plex
Napoleo-eo-eo-eo-eo-eon.
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